Time is precious

The clocks are ticking. Everyday, everyone gets closer to their death. We get older. People die. Babies are born. And there is no way to turn back time.

Amazing how life passes by so quickly. "It seems like yesterday, you were just a little girl," parents will say. How silly for adults to say that! I mean it feels like forever since I was a little girl. But as I am slowly becoming more independent as an adult, there are so many things that I am aware of. Reality is: life does go away in a blink of an eye. I remember when my dad would carry me around all the time, and now it seems like he has a hard time going up the stairs. Our bodies go through this cycle of getting stronger and suddenly becoming weaker. I always thought that the older you got, the bigger you got, so big that you couldn't fit in your bed anymore. Of course this was the little Jaclyn mentality, and of course that's not true.

Age was the topic of mine and my dad's conversation a few nights ago. We were looking at a brochure of boats where you can hold events on. My dad said he'd like to celebrate his 60th birthday on one of these boats next year. I realized, when my dad turns 60 I'm going to be 21. "HOLY CRAP," I thought. The year of the big birthdays. My dad said, "I'm getting old. I wouldn't mind if I died in 20 years. That's good enough for me." Oh God! Just thinking about my parents leaving in 20 years makes me cry. And I'm turning 20 this year! The thought of my parents leaving is too difficult to think about.

I suddenly have this anxiety of what is my future going to be like. Our parents raised us, taught us, and prepared us to be independent. And in a few years we're going to finally "fly" from the nest and live our own lives.

It's a scary thought...leaving the "nest". It's going to be tough, stressful, overwhelming, mysterious. But then again, life should be exciting in the future. I'm going to gain more wisdom. It's going to be filled with so many adventures, new experiences, and I will apply the life lessons my parents taught me that will make life more valuable.

It's time to grow up

When did life get so hard all of a sudden?! As I stepped onto campus, I found myself flustered and running around the school just to get request forms signed, to pay for my permit, to change my major! So many decisions in life especially for me right now. I have always been very sheltered my entire life by being told what I should take and being suggested what I should do with my life, but today it hit me: I HAVE TO MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS. I mean of course I knew that! but it's really getting down to the serious things. It's a scary thing to think about your future. What am I going to do with my life? Where do I want to be in 10 years? What am I meant to do? I am jealous of those people who knew what they were meant to do, who know how they're going to contribute to helping others in the future. For me, it has been a long roller coaster of ideas, and it sucks. And sometimes I wish that someone could look into a crystal ball and tell me my future. But I think I am fine now. I have settled with what I want to do, and I am happy with my choice. Wherever my choice takes me, I will do my best to be great at it. And not everyone's life is straightforward. Some people have to go through a lot of ups and downs to figure out their lives. I have to remember that life is an adventure. I would ruin the fun if I found out the ending.

Until next time, Ciao.

I guess this is what love is?

I've had a good experience on relationships. I may not have been in one, but I can tell you I have learned a lot through experiences of my friends and family. It's sad, when you're in that stage of trying to make something work-whether you're in a relationship already or when you want to build one up.

I guess it applies to friendship too. A relationship should be effortless. Things just click between you and the other person IN THE BEGINNING. The hard part is maintaining the relationship. That's where the effort comes in. "It takes two to tango" Both persons have to be reciprocating feelings to each other.

Anyway, this is my interpretation of what Love is.

I wrote to someone: " but i'd imagine that love is like putting pieces of a puzzle together. You spend hours, days, etc. putting the pieces together, it might take a long time but in the end its a beautiful picture! It's not something you can just work on... put it aside... wait weeks or months to finish because if you did, it becomes a complete waste of time and energy, making you come to the point of giving up.... here you have something really good that is incomplete, and you just can't stand it to be that way.

I am glad you wrote her a letter, got things out of your chest. You can officially move forward. If she likes you, then that's great! if she doesn't, then that's good too because you don't have to wait for her to help you finish the puzzle."

to those who have been in relationships... is that how it is?