I THINK I FOUND MY WEDDING SONG. HAHAAHH

When somebody loves you
Its no good unless he loves you - all the way
Happy to be near you
When you need someone to cheer you - all the way

Taller than the tallest tree is
Thats how its got to feel
Deeper than the deep blue see is
Thats how deep it goes - if its real

When somebody needs you
Its no good unless he needs you - all the way
Through the good or lean years
And for all the in between years - come what may

Who knows where the road will lead us
Only a fool would say
But if youll let me love you
Its for sure Im gonna love you - all the way, all the way

Someone to watch over me

There’s a saying old, says that love is blind
Still we’re often told, "seek and ye shall find"
So I’m going to seek a certain lad I’ve had in mind

Looking everywhere, haven’t found him yet
He’s the big affair I cannot forget
Only man I ever think of with regret

I’d like to add his initial to my monogram
Tell me, where is the shepherd for this lost lamb?

There’s a somebody I’m longin’ to see
I hope that he, turns out to be
Someone who’ll watch over me

I’m a little lamb who’s lost in the wood
I know I could, always be good
To one who’ll watch over me

Although he may not be the man some
Girls think of as handsome
To my heart he carries the key

Won’t you tell him please to put on some speed
Follow my lead, oh, how I need
Someone to watch over me

(bridge)

Won’t you tell him please to put on some speed
Follow my lead, oh, how I need
Someone to watch over me

Someone to watch over me



I don't understand this "game". Do I go for what I want or do I just wait and let things flow? Anyway, this song mirrors what I am currently feeling.

GREAT!

I'm back at school, and finally a sophomore!!! I am so happy to see familiar faces and meeting new people. And it feels so great to use my brain again. I LOVE LEARNING! ahahah

I ate fish tacos with mis amigas Amanda and Tricia tonight. Hanging out with them made me realize how much I missed being at school and them of course :)

Great school. Great people

Late, summer '08,

It is the last day of my summer. Before I start the new school year, I am going to reminisce about what I did these past few months! This has been one of my most memorable and enjoyable summers.

-I went to the Philippines for 2 weeks! There I visited my family, helped with the medical mission, spent my birthday there, held the smallest monkey in the world!, visited and relaxed on the beach of Boracay, and threw up my alcohol for the first time, SAW my cousins get wild, OH and i gained 10 lbs. lovely
-Watched Iron Man
-Marco graduated from high school!
-Unfortunately, I lost one of my best friends.
-Watched The Hulk
-Maria came up from San Diego to teach doctors how to dance to "One"!
-Maria finally took care of my drunken butt at Hideki's going away party.
- Valerie and I took our first cue... q pics!
-Lakers lost ahaha
-Liz and I had a movie night and watched for about 10 hours straight
-I went job hunting for weeks. Didn't get any call backs but finally got my first job at CEFIORE!
-Trixie and I found $50 dollars on the sand at Huntington Beach, but walked a million miles to our destination.
-Maria, Michael, and Brittany were up from SD!
-Spent July 4 with the Fatima girls!
-Went to a random party with Rodney, Adri, and Caroline
-Caroline and I tried Hookah for the first time
-Had a dinner night with Fatima kids!
-I started working out, so those 10 lbs were finally lost
-Went on the train to San Diego. I visited some friends like MARIA, MICHAEL, MERYN, RYAN. Watched the greatest movie, The Dark Knight. Went Jet Skiing!
-Went to Riverside and watched The Dark Knight AGAIN, with my cousins
-Went to the beach with Valerie and biked down PCH, and ate the best TACOS ever
-Celebrated Tim's birthday!
-Alyssa slept over!
-Hung out with Lauralee :)
-Celebrated my brothers birthday!
-Celebrated my Daddy's birthday
-Almost got killed at kevin's party
-Went to the beach with my siblings, liz and kai!
-Ate a boiling crab
-Went to the OC Fair
-Trixie's and Adri's kick back
-Watched Seesterhood of the traveling pants with the seeestterrrs
-Celebrated Evelyns birthday with the rosary girls :)
-went to Six Flags
-WAtched the stars with Mindy and John
-Went to Danielles birthday with Mindy
-Ate with Mindy
-Slept over Mels house!
-Got visited by many Cefiore fans ahah my friends
-crab shack
HAIRCUTS
-Got asked out by a weirdo. ahah


what else... damn thats a lot. ahah


Anyway, this summer has been a blast. and ON my last day I will spend it playing my harp, and working,, AND hopefully giving someone a Birthday yogurt. we'll see what happens.

til next time!

The bumps on the road will only make me stronger.

just a heads up my feelings ar elittle scattered so if you feel like this blog doesn't flow.. you're right. it doesn't ahah

So these past few days I have been really thinking about family. If you're Caroline, you already know this, but I always refer what's going on in my life with the book Tuesdays With Morrie. In this book, Professor Morrie teaches his last class, and the topic is LIFE. Under this topic, Morrie talks about family.

Friends come and go, family is forever. Morrie said family are the most important people in your life. When you're dying you may have a million friends that visit you, but family will always stand by you.

Which brings me to what I'm going to talk about. I've been really sad this week. I love my family and I KNOW my family loves me, but for some reason the type of love they show me isn't enough? I am not sure if I put it in the right way, but love isn't only about buying things for each other. There's the emotional part. It's about creating a personal relationship. It's a stronger friendship. Instead of criticizing about what I did wrong, how about advising me how to fix the problem. I feel like my parents and my brother have been putting me down lately. Instead of asking me how my day was, my parents' first words are always yelling me about doing something wrong, something i need to do, something they want me to do. It's never a "Hello, anak. How was your day? What did you do?" Saying things like that shows me that they care about me and not just about things I need to do.

And with my brother, ever since he got with his girlfriend, I'd been feeling more neglected than ever. She's at my house all the damn time. I don't mind seeing her everyday, but to the point that it feels like she lives here is just ridiculous. Don't get me wrong I like her a lot, but it's just really annoying that she's here all the time. She's here when I wake up; she's here when I go to sleep; she's here when I get home from school. And it's weird because she has a family. Doesn't it bother her parents that she's not home? Doesn't it bother her siblings that they don't see her sister?

I think the most I have said to my brother lately was, "Hey can you move the car?" How sad is that. I just think he's really occupied in his world, and doesn't have the slightest care for me. He never calls me to see if I am safe, never calls me to see if I got home whatever! Yes, I am jealous that she gets to have all of my brother to herself. I am not saying that it's her fault, I am just frustrated because it is about her.

IT'S WEIRD.. I feel like I've been replaced! Today, my mom told me to wake up and to get ready to eat lunch. I said I couldn't because I have work at 12, and they went on without me, WITH MY BROTHER'S GIRLFRIEND. Of course I am not going to make them stop from eating, but I was pretty sad because it seemed like it was okay that I wasn't going to be there. She was there to take my spot.

My friend said that hey if he isn't really including you in your life, then don't bother. I mean yes I know that I shouldn't waste my time on people who don't care about me, but this is my family. I DO CARE! I want that person to be by me when I'm dying.. I want my brother to be there by me. I want my brother to care about who I go out with.. I wnat my brother to be protective I want my brother to just be my friend. I am not saying that he hasn't done things for me, but just lately I just feel like I have no one. I JUST WANT A BROTHER. and that's not what i have right now.

aldskfjalsdkfj;asldkfja;sldkfj I'm done. There's a lot more to add, but I'm just too annoyed to continue.

Bronze Medal

"I like the bad boy look, but not the bad boy act."

Yeah, how come boys have to be so perverted? If you want to go out with a girl, not only do you have to impress the girl, but their friends and family too! On Wednesday, Bronze, my manager's friend who asked me out came to visit me. Luckily my friends were there as well. I told him to talk to my friends. This was a good idea because my friends could get a look see at him: if he was good enough for me to go out with.

THEY HATED HIM

From the minute he walked in, he did not give off a good impression.
He seems like a cool guy to hang out with, but NO. Absolutely no. ... a friend said.
They told me what he had said to them. He asked if they were lesbian JUST because we went to an all girl school. He talked about having piercings on inappropriate places! I believe he said that he would have a piercing on his ball sacks, but it would smell. WTF?
He kept making noises with the chair and he even started swinging the lamps.

"BOOOO" Kyla yelled. Of course right after he left.


His name is exactly what he is: Bronze. He's not great at all. He's not a silver and definitely not a gold.

You do something to me

"You do something to me,
something that simply mystifies me.
Tell me, why should it be
you have the power to hypnotize me?
Let me live 'neath your spell,
Do do that voodoo
that you do so well.
For you do something to me
that nobody else could do!"

Don't you hate it when people can do that to you? It's a great feeling, but it kills you inside at the same time!!

Lucky Day 08 08 08

Today... I mean yesterday was 08 08 08. It was going to be my lucky day! And what I had in my mind was considered to be lucky: to be visited by this "certain someone" at work tonight. If not that, I was hoping that anything would happen to me like finding money on the floor or getting employee of the month at work (which I hope I get!) But most of us know that when you think about something too much, like me believing that "this person" was going to visit me, and getting your hopes high, you can get disappointed when things do not go your way. So I tried really hard not to think about it.

For a long time now, I have had low self esteem, no confidence whatsoever, and I broke down because I felt lonely, ugly, and unimportant. I'd be lying if I did not say that I am a little envious when I see my best friends with their boyfriends and my brother with his girlfriend. Basically being surrounded by couples makes it hard to not feel lonely. It's a reminder of how much I want to be loved and cared for just like them. I spilled my feelings to a seester and to a cousin searching for some kind of advice or solution to my problem. All these years I convinced myself that I WAS THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM. I told myself I was not good enough. When I looked in a mirror I saw a hopeless girl who could never get what she wanted and could never imagine someone like her.

I cannot say that the last line is entirely true, because there have been guys who have been interested in me, who have wanted to take me out, but I never gave them a chance because I was not interested in them. It was always like that: when I like him, he doesn't like me; when he likes me, I don't like him. This happened to me all the time. I'd like a guy so much. I'd see so much potential in the relationship. There was chemistry! But in the end, he only saw me as a friend. Because he only saw me as a friend, I'd get BUTT HURT about it. Then I'd start again, automatically pick pointing at all my flaws and start focusing on what I had to do get him to realize that I was the one.

My seester and my cousin both told me, "In order to love someone, you have to love yourself first." I kept that in mind. I thought about all the things that I loved: music, art, family, friends, singing, harp, dancing, cooking. I realized that I was a beautiful person all along, and that I didn't need to keep wasting my time worrying about some guy.

It's hard not to think about someone that you can't have, but eventually when you put those things that you love the most as your priority, things fall into place. Being confident with yourself and with what you do, I believe, attracts a person. Being yourself and loving yourself helps others love you too.

And that's what I started doing. I start seeing the beauty that my family and friends have always seen. And lately I've been obsessing over my harp and actually thinking about playing gigs when I get my repertoire ready. I'm doing adventurous things and doing what I love to do. I'm actually not afraid to just start making a conversation with a stranger and it feels great!

Never in a thousand years, did I ever think I was going to be asked to go out with someone. Tonight, my lucky night, my manager's friend asked me to go dancing with him one day. I loved the spontaneity of the whole situation. As I was cleaning the counter, he leans over and asks, "Do you want to dance?" I was so caught off guard that I said, "I don't know" and left to go to the back. I ignored his question and when I came out he asked me again, "Do you want to dance?" I replied, "Yeah, but not right now; I'm working!" I started cleaning again, and he asks, "What do you not like to dance?" "Oh no I love to dance!" "Why wont you come dance with me; when are you free?" I told him the days I was off; he asked for my number and said he'd call me sometime soon.

I couldn't believe it... never in a thousand years.


I don't know, I just feel lucky.


AHAHAHAHAH WHAT A LAME BLOG.

Quotes and Lyrics that I love

"Some of the greater things in life are unseen thats why you close your eyes when you kiss, cry, or dream..."

"The very thought of you, and I forget to do
The little ordinary things that everyone ought to do
I see you face in every flower
your eyes in stars above
it's just the thought of you
the very thought of you , my love"

uhh not good ahahah

this is very very very bad, but im buzz blogging right now.

I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT when i see something that I want.. I JUST GOT TO HAVE IT. SERIOUSLY i wish yuohad some kind of clue, damnit.

................., and .. thtas its. ahahah a



GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD NIGHT





__________________________________________________
august 8, 2008

^^^ that's me super gone.

customers

You'll never know how a person feels until you're in their shoes.

You know. I have never realized how rude customers can be. I always thought that it were the workers who were the rude ones. One lady customer was not satisfied with what we were giving her. She started pick pointing at the things she didn't like what we were doing and putting. THEN WHY ARE YOU HERE . WE'RE GIVING YOU WITH WHAT YOU ORDERED AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT THEN WHY DID YOU ORDER IT IN THE FIRST PLACE?

Another customer really pushed my buttons. It's unfortunate to know how UNGRATEFUL people can be when someone gives service to them. I can understand if you don't like our yogurt, but why do you have to give attitude and criticize! And it sucked cuz this guy's girlfriend even apologized for his actions. WHAT AN ASSHOLE. :D ahahah

If anybody is reading this.. what are your experiences with customers?!

Shit went down tonight

Why do people have to be soooooooo prideful?! Why do people have to call others out by their race?! Tonight, I went to my friends party. Everything was fine, until two guys started fighting. I told my friend that these guys were having a fight in the house. His solution was to kick them out because he didn't want them to cause any trouble. Because these kids have so much pride, they call us out by our race. Overhearing what they said to us, another friend talks back, causing him and those kids to fight. As my girlfriends and I tried to hold him back, these kids are still talking shit on us "asians." I ran outside and I find my best friend yelling at one of the girls. The girl yelling from below says to my friend "fucking bitch then get down here" Of course because being angry.. I talk to that girl.. and yell to just leave and to stop causing trouble. Not only do they scream in the middle of the street and try to threaten us, they also throw a bottle at the house. WTF. Everyone was told to go into the house. Luckily my best friend and I were able to leave. We were scared. We couldve gotten hit. We don't know what kind of weapons they had or if they even had any. Anything could of happened. all because these people wanted to prove to themselves and others that they are tough that they are better.

Why do people like to cause trouble? Why do people think that fighting makes them tough? What is the point? It was so unnecessary.

And I don't know what would be the cause. Is it because these people and everyone else were intoxicated? Why does alcohol bring out the worst in people??

That is why you have a fucking party with the people you know and you trust. If you're going to hold a huge ass party, you better know what are the consequences first, and you should be ready for trouble and for the cops. 90% of the people at that party were under the influence and many were ticketed for DUI.

TEENAGERS ARE STUPID.
we really are.